Its amazes me how its about to be a month since I turned 20..I told myself I will embark in some changes and well for the most part I have made them. No longer am I a teen, no longer am I that Sonia...I am now SONIA. I def. have accomplish so much this year but the work is not over yet...personal work is still to be done...
I have goals and dreams--thus far I have accomplish some and Im in the process of accomplising others...I will always be a dreamer and I will not stop till i execute all my goals..
Body, mind and soul are keys in a happy life...I have always put all 3 last. I have devoted myself on work, school, ppl, friends...not that is a bad thing but I think there should be a balance. Me comes first....and I have to take care of myself all the times and not just weekends when I can squeeze in some sleep lol...Lifstyles have been changed (I dont know if ya have noticed)..There have been plenty moments when I felt guilty that I been ghost: missing events, not returning text and calls(well I have no phone), and not being able to spend time with my friends...but at the end of the day I remind myself that I need it to be this way right now. Yes , old cliche "she needs time for herself, she is finding herself"..well I have found myself, all of this has been me trying to keep her and keeping her sane. I am not doing this for ya, Im doing this for me.
It hasnt been easy, ppl confusing my ghost status as me being a bad friend, or me being "to good to hang out w/" or "a bad relationship partner"...Im deeply sorry if I have made ppl feel like I left them in the dark but I hope my true friends and true ppl comprehend and dont hold grudges against me or turn their back on me...I have always been a beliver that theres good in ppl and always seing the good in them..and I still do
I been trying to find myself in others, trying to find happyness in others, trying to find love in others, when the key thing is that I can find them in me...All I can do is follow my own tracks and as scary as the future may seem, as new and different these paths Im taking are I will continue to take them..I always been a optimistic person, and I always believed in me, and believed at the end of the tunnel there is a bright light. Yes I will fall, and make mistakes here and there but thats me being human, but I do kno I will get up and hold my head high....
Change is key and I was reminded that CHANGE sometimes is needed when talking to my dear friend Troy. (If you ever get to read this blog Troy, Thank you for walking into my life---as cheesy as it sounds I appreciate your friendship)...I recall the first time talking to you, you told me your whole life story lol..in like less than 45 minutes I knew things from your childhood, learned how funny and corny you can be , and how you love sneakers, I remember you telling me about how dope I am lol....shit I think the reason I use dope in my daily vocabulary is bcuz of you :)
Since then we exchanged views on diff. things from our point of views about life, to about relationships, to our own futures.
Troy, you went ghost of me. I kno many ppl would have gotten mad that you hadnt hit them up but I understood where you were coming from. I understood the absence and I understood where this yearn for a need for change came from. I guess we always been on the same page. Although you wear sneakers and I wear pumps, although you cut your hair and I'm letting mine grow, although your corny and Im funny lol, although we kinda had diff. experiences growing up,at the end of the day I feel like you and I will always be in the same page. For the past few days, you have been on the other line putting up with my DC updates and you was there a few month ago when my aunt gave birth(funny how u called me to tell me your sister gave birth on that week too) ...but anyway when you went ghost on me and when you updated me a few weeks ago that you might be moving away cuz Ny was not working for u..I was sad cuz I felt like I will be losing out on a great friend. Shit I will be losing out on a great graphics designer lol, I will be missing out on a person I can depend on being up at 3 am and a person who leaves crazy comments on my pic such as : "you have the cutest chin i ever seen " lol....man I knew i would be losing on TROY , the dopest dude I will ever know, the amazing individual whom I always say "your amazing" to.....
But I kno we will somehow and someway keep in touch even if you move to Iowa, you reassured me that that is how it will be.Thank you for reassuring me that although taking steps for them changes we need in our life can be scary, it needs to be done and we can just hope for the best. Thank you and def. you are an amazing individual.I wish I could have done more for you, for you have done so much for me. I told you a few nights ago " I see great potential in you, I know you will do great things" ---trust i meant that.
So like the title in this blog initialy said " might be the last blog"...I guess it may be the last one for now.But I changed it to "we all need change right?" Hey maybe for the next time I will have an update on how I cut my hair short .well we will never know or maybe we wil..lets see how I embrace these changes...time will tell..
Thanks Mr.Troy , remember to smile lol and remember your amazing.(PS--your a prototype of what my husband could have been lol )